Aftercare
Importance of Aftercare
Aftercare is an extremely important part of BDSM yet is often overlooked. BDSM activities can be mentally, physically, and emotionally draining for both the dominant and the submissive. Usually the submissive requires more aftercare, but the dominant can benefit from aftercare as well. Aftercare is usually provided by the dominant.
After a BDSM scene, a person may experience an emotional high and feel overwhelmingly carefree. When these feelings fade, they can make way for feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety, sadness, depression, or irritation. The timeframe in which these feelings occur can vary. It may begin a few hours after a scene and end quickly, or may appear a few days to even a week after a scene and last much longer. The drop is thought to be caused from “crashing” after an endorphin high. It can also be from feeling “disconnected” from a partner after a scene, and can feel similar to mourning. Aftercare can help reduce the effects of a scene.
Aftercare should be provided after a scene. If a partner safewords during a scene, aftercare should be provided once the partner feels safe again.
How to provide aftercare:
There are many ways to perform aftercare, and some methods work better for people than others. Aftercare can be verbal expressions of love or gratitude, or can be physical actions such as kissing, cuddling, or stroking hair/skin. You can also discuss the scene and what you enjoyed.
It is important to hydrate after a scene and maybe eat a light snack. Body temperature can drop significantly after a scene, so blankets should be provided. Massaging and rubbing lotion can also help.
Tend to any marks or welts and see if they require any medical attention.
BDSM aftercare kit
It may be helpful to have an aftercare kit ready before the scene begins. Some things to include in an aftercare kit are:
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A snack
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A refreshing or warming drink
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Lotion or soothing crème
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First aid and painkillers
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Soft cotton underwear
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Blanket or bathrobe
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Wet-wipes
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Warm socks
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